P-hew, I am offically off being such a downer and ready to start the new year ahead with a great big bang. Well, hopefully with many bangs actually. Any volunteers at this point are appreciated.
I must say though that this year is definetly not going well for all of you people, while I snuggle comfortably in a nice cozy pair of denims, some of you have been subjected to bank anal probing, forced to be mother nature's favourtie bitch and there are even some of you that no longer enjoy each other's company.
All this is causing missles to fly. And believe me, I know that when my missles starts a flying, everyone gets creamed and splattered. What I don't understand is that why you're complaining who your neighbours are. I'm next door buddies to a pair of nutcases and an asshole but you don't see me cuming all over them and telling them what to do. If I did, the asshole will probably start firing his shit everywhere and the two nutcases will explode resulting in chaos! All this battering would then just leave me a gaping hole of a pussy. Tolerance my fellow genitalia. I'm just saying.
But enough about all this, what I want to seriously talk about is a major issue this year that has sweeped the world. The UN couldn't stop it from happening. America certainly doesn't want to interfere. Friends are fighting in debate over who is right. Thousands have marched in protest in sheer outrage! All this apocolyptic scenery is caused by the fact that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson might have really broken up!
Damn!
Who knew that sweet lesbian love would not last forever. I've had this recurring dream of being a sweet innocent va-jayjay caught in the middle of some sweet threesome LoRo loving and now, that dream has been crushed, just like any future office parties at the Lehman Brothers.
Inside her ever "famous" myspace page she was quoted saying that,
we did NOT break up!
access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six... AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It's really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc... NOT TRUE
:) xoxox Lindsay
But it's a lie isn't it you dildo loving whore! TMZ told me that you did! So why did you do it?! Why?!
Sigh, I guess it was a matter of time seeing that no matter how much R&D funding Lindsay donates to strap on research, it can't change the fact that although Samantha Ronson has more masculine looks than the Jonas Brothers, she will never have an actual penis. And boy I know that this girl love the penis.
It might be good for the both of them to get away from one another for a while. Maybe it'll change Lindsay and Samantha back into this,
and this,
Instead of this,
Oh the humanity.
With that I leave you with a bit of other news.
Christiano Ronaldo NEARLY crashed his pricey red Ferrari in a tunnel and came out unscratched. Score one for another failed plot to kill this Portugese ball chin. Try harder next time MI6.
Till next time,
Hugs and Kisses
AP
No comments:
Post a Comment