The Anti-Me Device

Hello Stalkers,

I had a pretty abysmally mundane day today, no invites to any "Tupperware Parties" and Fabio's gone to the Dominican Republic for a shoot while Thaksin is off to work, more on that later. Though honestly, just between you and me, I think both of them are cheating on us. Damn you forrest!! Anyway, this meant that it's going to be a quiet day at home and good old carrier here decided to hit the information highway for some lovin'. Hello Pop Friction and Hard School Musical 2, yeah they've made a sequel.. After the work out we stumbled upon an interesting article and oh my.. So I am Arafat's Penis and here's what I'm thinking..

They say information in this day and age is power, but sometime certain information can make your knees buckle, your face cringe and the twins retract. Here's what I'm on about, while doing some Redtubing, we stumbled upon an article cheekily entitled "Sex Tools for Tools at Sex". It was quite interesting as the article filled my carrier's head with kinky ideas and mine with blood, but half way down, the article got a tad weird. It started to ramble on about sex in the Medieval times, and somehow that lead to this odd device. In an effort to curb rape, those sick people came up with this particular anti-rape device. My first thought was: Rape? What's rape? You see with my carrier here, it's actually impossible to rape him, because you'll just end having conventional sex.. The only difference is whether or not he'll spoon you. Consequently, he's actually really bad at Rape Roleplay nights.

Anyway the article goes on describing this device as being conical in shape which is then inserted into the rapee's no.1 or no.2 depending on your preference. Now here's the bit where it's a bit of a mind fuck-slash-rape, ready? The interior of the device is lined with rusty Medieval razors which are pointed inwards. So picture this , it'll be easy for me and my colleagues to go in, but upon exit.. Yea.. Ouch.. If the shredding didn't get you, gangrene will.. As usual got to go, looks like someone's having a nightmare, yup definitely a nightmare the twins are a bit shy.

Till next time,

Hugs and Kisses

AP

17 x 4.0885235294117647058823529411766 = 69

Hi genitalmen and laidies,

As my master is now undertaking some culinary skill called "spooning" I figure I have a few minutes to write about what happened to me recently before the 2nd rund begins. However, often enough you find yourself in an experience so horrifying that you are at a lost for words and somehow my loss of words happened to arrive in the lost Japanese art of Haiku.

Young man meets woman,
Sexual horizons whispered,
I am intrigued,

I am so wasted,
As far as I know she hot,
Anticipation,

We undress on bed,
And soon I hit second base,
But wait a minute,

There balls on my face,
Turns out I am not alone,
Sixty Nine point Nine.

Till next time,
Hugs and Kisses
AP

Brazilian

Hello Stalkers,

I might have to keep this rant a tad shorter than usual, as I’m sore all over and no, unfortunately, it’s not in a happy way. So I am Arafat’s Penis and here’s what I’m thinking..

So what happened? A Brazilian is what happened. When I say Brazilian, no I don’t mean getting freaky with Pedros and Ronaldinhos, what I mean is.. erm.. how do it put this.. err.. “deforestation”? Indulge me for a minute here and let me start from the beginning.

Recall that last month I decided to don a costume for Halloween. Well, let’s just say that the tripod costume had a dodgy zipper, and that when I eventually return it, it went back with few strands of hair stuck to it. Yup that Arafat sure has the looks but not the brains. The simple fact of the matter is, when something is stuck, the use of force is not going to help. Anyway after the incident, the good old carrier here thought it would be a good idea to go “industrial logging” on the little tropical rainforest we have here, and got ourselves what’s called a Brazilian.

Before this point, I had no idea what a Brazilian was. So when I was covered with warm honey scented wax, I thought it was just another fancy name for what basically is Wonderful Warm Wax Wednesday. Wow, was I wrong!! When that sweaty Thai boy, took rein of the cotton strip and yank it off my warm pink flesh, yea… ouch…

Three hours and 23 cotton strips later, to my horror and despair, the boy said he could do no more for the day, which mean that we’re going back to Thaksin’s Tom Yam and Beauty tomorrow.. Sigh.. Oh yea, did I mention that Thaksin's little hair removal salon doubles as a Thai restaurant, guess they haven't heard of Food Handling Certification.

Anyway, like I said I’m in excruciating pain and I don’t think I could manage another sentence. So here’s me signing off..

Till next time,

Hugs and Kisses

AP

AP gets Political

Howdy ya'll and yippe kay yay!

Me greeting you this way does not necessarily mean though that I support McCain but what I wouldn't do to have a little bumpy bumpy time with the old man. I always did like more mature folk. Too bad for him OBAMA managed to suck on more of us than he did.

Let me get something to you straight! I hate both candidates and I love both of them as well. You know that I want to rim both of them for their sexy policies and hopes and dreams, but I also want to squirt my juices into their eyes for the fact that they're politicians, and guess what penises and pussies? All politicians are LIARS!

Look at Gordon Brown that fat ass, the hope for Britain, stunning disappointment he was except for the swimsuit calendar he released featuring him and Her Royal Sexy-ness.

So that's all I'm saying on the matter folks. America finally got its first black President and I orgasm in joy, but lets not forget that he's a politician and therefore the hope we place in him will be his biggest downfall.

Till next time,
Remember, ball sacks are not hackey sacks, never kick them if they fall down,
Hugs and Kisses

AP