The Bendy Penis

Hey y'all,

Just bounced in from Arafat's bed and boy are my balls tired.

Okay, enough with the pleasantries and more with the bang bang bang (not literally though, unless you really want it that bad)

Yesterday I caught myself thinking.Halloween is just around the corner and I have nothing to wear! I mean of course they design costumes shaped like us for the general public like this little number,but what about me?? What does a lonely little soldier boy like me wear for such a daring event like Halloween? Its penis-ist I tell you. Discrimination against all of us large and small. We have rights as well. We all have minds of our own. Everyone knows that.

Luckily I stumbled upon a site which has proved to be more accommodating to our purple head wearing needs and boy oh boy, costumes galore. I need your help though I'm not really sure what I'm going to go as but here's the shortlist.

Sexy sheep, I know my boss would love this one seeing as it has happened before. Ahhhh reliving memories with this costume will surely put us in the right mood. Mmmhmmmm.

Sexy snake, now here's a new one for the books. We've never done this before but its not like he ever needed a flute to raise my head.

Or I could go as that bitch who gave us genital warts. Of course its not flaring now ladies but actually to my surprise some of you enjoy driving across bumps. No idea why. Must be a girl thing. No wonder they say girls are the worst kind of drivers.

Finally, I could go as a Smaller Penis. I mean. My monstrous size has known to cause certain people to faint at the sight no matter how tough he is. So maybe this little knob will deter them from actually realizing my true form and actually let me surprise them for once.

Well that's about it ladies and gents. Let me know what ya think. I'm eager to know. Oh shit. It's morning already and Arafat's about due for his morning hardy. Right right, got to straighten myself up.

Till next time,

Always remember to clean your friend once a day,

Hugs and Kisses

AP

Tupperware Party.. Among Other Things

Hello Stalkers,

After spending an entire day advocating the benefits of air-tight food storage at a potpourri filled Tupperware Party, my carrier is now all tuckered out and sound asleep, all clear. So I am Arafat’s Penis and here’s what I’m thinking..

I hate potpourri!!! That’s what I’m thinking.. In fact I hate everything remotely suburban housewife-ish, from the floral décor to the plastic covered sofas. The worst by far was definitely the early nineties rosy wallpaper which adorned the room from top to toe. Sadly, such is my predicament, the result of being brought to life attached to this particular carrier. God was probably having a good laugh 20 years ago, when he decided to put the two of us in the same equation. One up north and one down south. 

Though here’s the pièce de résistance of this story. Instead of a room filled with slightly hormonal but potentially attractive housewives, which one would come to expect from these Tupperware parties, the rosy room was packed with men!! I have to make this clear, unlike my carrier I actually don’t swing in that particular direction. Like I said, God was probably having a good laugh 20 year ago and by the looks of things, still is.

After the “lovely lady boys” have put in their multi-coloured Tupperware orders, they erm.. how should I put his.. they decided to have another party, a party in the pants. I mean all this is fine, just as long as they’ve got the proper consent from the all the individuals who are involve right? WRONG!! They did not get my consent!! You’ve got to keep in mind that a party in the pants involves the equipment in the pants, and I am the equipment!! I was violated in the most weird way, I feel so dirty.. So used.. Sigh..

So yeah, I had not only an exhausting day but a pretty dirty one as well. Dirty in the behavioral sense as well as the hygienic sense. Oh look someone’s waking up, and looks like he did not have enough.. Oh hello left hand.. Hmm happy days..

PS: Thanks for the lovely responses for the poem.

Till next time,

Hugs and Kisses

AP

Poem for the Twins

Oh mighty twins!

Hanging behind me,

Too afraid to show your might,

Be free! Take flight,

But if you were to go,

I would be sad,

For I then cannot show my head,

Around my pussycat,

Damn you Cancer!

You shall not pass!

Oh mighty twins!

If you were to twist,

You'd cause me much pain,

A stain,

On the bedroom floor,

Colder than ever before,

Without you,

I am but a gunless barrel,

On the beaches of Normandy,

Fighting off the killer crabs.

Oh mighty twins!

It's a good thing you are here,

On my expeditions,

Too fat to come inside,

I know you have my back,

What a journey!

What a journey!

Oh sweet relief,

You're looking thin,

My twins.

AP

Hello World

Dear Blogspot,

This is going to be the first of many entries to this page. However due to logistical constraints, that being me attached to my carrier's crotch, I might encounter some problems in posting frequently. Though fear not, as always I'm ready to rise up to the occasion. No pun intended.. And yess, I do rise to the occasion.. ocasionally..

Anyway, now that I've got that out of the way, I can continue to pour my heart out onto the world wide web for random stranger and stalkers to read and scrutinise as bloggers do. So I am Arafat's Penis and here's what I'm thinking..

There is a significant amount of skeptics of this site's existence floating around FaceSpace or MyFace or what ever it is called, and well I just don't get it. What are they being skeptical about? Is it the fact that Arafat has a penis or is it the fact that it has emotions and the ability to write.. Sigh.. 

Though either way, looks like I'm getting the attention that I deserve. A point worth noting is that I do have some fans or well a fan. This particular dare I say it, admirer points out that me Arafat's penis is the best!! Oh happy days.. Hmm.. Oh crap, he's rousing got to go..

Till next time,

Hugs and Kisses 

from your favourite penis

AP